


Without You

by Christeee



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 02:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1671548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christeee/pseuds/Christeee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Oliver leaves Felicity after a night together and disappears for another 5 long yrs but this time not on Lian Yu.After months of dissappointment Felicity gives up.She becomes someone else.</p><p>AU in which Diggle dies.Set along 2x23</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coping with being left alone

**Author's Note:**

> This was kind of inspiration from the song Without You by Ingrid Michaelson

 

She is standing on the roof top looking over the city she helped to keep safe.The legacy of "The Arrow" continuous even though  
the real arrow isn't here.

She is hurt,betrayed,broken.All the time she had wasn't enough to cover up those scars he left on this very day 5 yrs ago.He 

fooled her again.It was unthinkable that he would ever love her let alone see a future with her.But she let herself dream,of 

a future where she and Oliver were together and happy.

She went back to all those years to the day everything went wrong.

..................................................................

 

She was supposed to inject Slade with the Mirakuru cure and she did but none of them had counted on him having a last bit of 

strength which he used to try and kill Oliver except Diggle had seen him and Slade drove the sword through Dig.They couldn't 

save him and Oliver had then driven an arrow through Slade's heart killing the man and his horror once and for all.

After Dig died while on the battle with Slade all hell broke lose .Lyla couldn't bear the pain and lost her baby in the 

process after which she left Starling city for good.Roy went with Thea to Central City while Sara too left for Nanda Parbat.  
It was only Oliver and herself along with slight presence of Laurel.Poor girl with Quentin's injury and now paralysis she too 

was having a hard time.Oliver was all the time brooding and letting the guilt overcome him.They hadn't talked much on the 

first week,busy in helping the people in the city and trying to get his company back.She thought he needed time to come out 

of it seeing how he was when Tommy had died.

It was the second week that Oliver finally was opening up bit by bit .Somedays he would bring her coffee or take her to lunch 

while they were fixing the damage in the foundry.They hadn't spoken about the arrow business but he still put on the hood and 

went out in the Glades to help people restore what was left of it.Thankfully there were not much destruction as there was due 

to the earthquake machine but there were many lives lost.

It might also be because they knew talking about the arrow business might bring back old memories of John.They could never be 

the same as they were,without him.Now the foundry felt empty,hollow the silence so deafening in their ears.It was a sensitive 

subject to both of them.Oliver never said it out loud but she knew that he still blamed himself for Dig's death.

It was late.She was sitting on the couch with some ice-cream trying not to remember the fateful night every time she closed 

her night.Sleeping lately had become a distant dream.If only she could sleep without seeing the pain filled face of her 

deceased partner who was the big brother in her life.So giving up here she was lost in her own thoughts when the bell rang 

scaring her.She has been jumpy a lot lately.

Sighing she went to see who could it be this late at night.Looking through the peep hole she found Oliver standing outside 

and immediately opened the door.He looked really tired and worn out.His eyes had bags under them and tonight it looked like 

he had more than usual rough night.His eyes were a haunting blue like a storm raging in there.Felicity was no blind.She knew 

him all too well,knew that he was blaming himself,the guilt overtaking him so much.She had seen him fighting his shadows and 

demons to continue living each day.Tonight was no different but she took a moment to think what changed today that he came to 

her, not that she wasn't happy,no she was happy that he knew that he could rely on her.

She ushered him inside and closed the door.He went directly to the couch and sat down.Tension was filling the air as both 

couldn't fill the silence.Finally she too went and sat besides him.

He looked older than he was.He was cradling his head between his palm .After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence,he spoke

"I hope you don't mind me coming here.I know I haven't been fair to you ignoring you all week and leaving you alone and I'm 

so sorry"

His voice so broken tore away at her heart.She moved away his hand from his head rubbing soothing circles on it and made him 

look at her,"Hey it's not your fault,you just needed some time and it doesn't matter now,you are here"

The intensity with which he was looking at her had her trembling.She didn't understand who had moved,was it her or was it him 

but nothing seemed to matter as his lips touched her.

At first it was a simple peck.He would pull back a little maybe deciding that it was a bad idea then again put another light 

kiss on her lips as if thinking one last time only and then pull back again.Doing this for almost the third time he gave up 

muttering"Hell" and kissed her with full force no barrier at all.

His lips tasted minty and he was kissing her with such fervour as if it was his last kiss.His hands were cradling her 

head.One hand went and pulled out the band holding her hair and he dug his hand in her tresses feeling it under his fingers.  
His hands left her hair and were all over her body feeling her.Her own hands weren't idle.She ran her hands through his 

smooth hair down to his neck and then to his back as he kissed her.

Lack of oxygen broke their kiss and he started kissing her neck biting and soothing the pain giving her pleasure.At the back 

of her mind some small part was nagging her that it was too quick too fast,that it would surely end in a huge disaster 

and probably a very broken hard.But with Oliver's lips on her,the fatigue of the entire week,the feeling of being alone 

gnawed at her and for once she became selfish,she didn't want to be alone and neither did her so for one night she would 

enjoy him being with her.There would be time for consequences later.It not like he was leaving her.RIGHT ???

All thoughts flew out the window when he lifted her up and out of instinct she wrapped her legs around his waist.He kept 

kissing her as they stumbled to her bedroom.

It was beautiful and exhausting.If she had any breath she would definitely tell him about his wonderful stamina but he left 

her breathless with his bedroom skills that she had a hard time not thinking were all those skills came from.Those didn't 

matter to her because he was with her.Even if the sex was to blow out the tension,the pain,the hurt from both of them it didn 

a lot good.She saw him more relaxed,a bit more younger.He looked at bliss and she was sure she did too.

That night he had held her close,closer if possible nuzzling his nose in the hollow of her neck giving slight kisses and 

humming her to sleep.That night she was contend.

But it on lasted a night because the next day when she woke up she was alone.He was gone forever,no note,no message.It was 

like he disappeared from the face of the earth.

For the next two months she searched for him,cried herself every night to sleep.This time he wasn't on Lian Yu either.He was 

gone forever and then it occurred to her that their night together was a goodbye to her.

so she stopped looking.The people in the city still needed the Arrow and if Oliver was a coward to run away she would be the 

Arrow.She trained day and night harder every day and each night she would go out with his bow and arrow wearing his 

suit.Giving the hood was bit big for her but she altered it so she could fit in it without being it too baggy.

It wasn't easy.With no-one to help her and only the internet it wasn't enough but Laurel was there.She helped her in training 

to become The Arrow.When in the beginning she would get hurt a lot,Laurel would be the one to patch her.It was a miracle she 

was still alive.Now she too had scars,lots of them but the biggest one being in her heart where no one could see.In the day 

she worked in a small company and at night she would protect the city.  
Laurel had become a good friend both being betrayed by their only support.She didn't need a foundry to do the Arrow 

business.Her own home with computers were enough for her.

Now 5 yrs later she was ace in her job as the city's guardian angel.Of course people noticed the Arrow being a girl now and 

sometimes it came in the news too but now no-one cared as long as the city was safe.

.................................

 

She didn't realize that she was crying until she felt the cold breeze of the night hit her face.She shook her head wondering 

why after all these years she was thinking of a man who left her.She went back to her work jumping from the roof tops unaware 

of the pair of eyes looking at her.


	2. Home is where the heart lies

Oliver had returned to starling city except this time no one noticed well mainly because he had come in the death of the night.Still it felt good to be back home.His first thought was Felicity whom he called his home.He knew that the way he disappeared was wrong that she would never forgive him but back then he needed to mend himself,needed time.

Even though his reasoning sounded weak to even himself he was determined to have her back.He had kept in touch with Walter as he took care of his company in his absence and had kept him informed about how well Felicity was doing and how she was an asset.Felicity was helping him a lot and he was proud of her.Walter had assured him when he was leaving town that he will keep everything that he owns safe and sound until he comes back to claim it and the double meaning hadn't gone unnoticed by him.

What he didn't think was how his leaving affected her.He knew he had been selfish.That night 5 yrs ago he was selfish because he wanted to feel her one last time and he was guilty but he was sure to get her back.

His first stop was Felicity's home but there was no-one inside. In fact the whole apartment had changed and he had a doubt that she left the town too or changed locations until he saw a picture of her and Laurel.So he went to Laurel.When he reached her home he could see from a window that Laurel was putting Quentin to bed and giving him medicine and he also noticed the wheel chair by the side and truth hit him.

He waited for her in her living room.When she came out she nearly had a heart attack but then she strode forward and slapped him hard.Well he might have expected that from Felicity but not Laurel.

He asked her where was Felicity and what exactly had happened in his absence.Turns out a lot did.But when he heard Felicity being the now Green Arrow he didn't know how to react,to be proud of her strength or guilty that she was the one who pt her in the position where she had to make that kind of choice.

Dread and fear was haunting him.She would never let him in.She's broken and he was the one who did it.He was beginning to self-brood but Laurel shouted at him.

"Don't you do that again Ollie.Don't just stop brooding.Five yrs ago you did a mistake and you left.She was broken and she needed you but you were not there but she still needs you.All this time I have seen how miserable she is but she still goes on living and fighting and I know she will never admit it but she still hopes that you will come.Don't let her go again don't break her again"

Her shouting made him realize that he was doing it again and he didn't want to disappoint her or Dig again.After he had left he would hear voices of Diggle asking him why he left her alone,why he didn't support her.He would never again ignore that voice.

"Do you know where she is right now"

"Yes I have a GPS tracker on her in case she got in trouble,I'll check it"

Laurel went into some room and came back few minutes later,tablet in hand.

"See this green blink that's her,I think on some buildings in glades"

"Don't worry I will find her now"

"Wait Ollie you don't have ....you know the uniform or bow"

At that he cracked a small smile"I might not be the Arrow right now but I am still the vigilante who was stranded on an island,I haven't forgotten my skills."

"Right and good luck you will need a lot of that"

Jumping form rooftops he felt her presence before he saw her.He hid behind a pillar looking at her lost in thought as silent tears made it's way through her eyes.The sight itself was so disturbing that he didn't want to think about how many times had she cried in the yrs that he was gone.But before he could approach her she was gone.He called Laurel who told him that she was headed to her home.

He stood in the shadows as he watched her strip out of the hood and went to the bathroom.He entered through the window and took shelter in the dark corners.The walls which were brightly colored the last time he was here was now a dark shade of brown.He was thankful she didn't decide to actually paint it black.Well she definitely redecorated her apartment with her mood.The room itself gave him 100 different reason to slap himself because he changed his bright beautiful and chirpy IT girl into someone as himself.His darkness enveloped her light.

He still was quite amused though since being the now Arrow she still couldn't detect his ninja-y skills.She would have to be more careful.Did she get scars just like he,the thought made him shudder and he felt a growing disgust inside him of the fact that he was the one responsible.It took all of him to not run away again because if he did it again he might as well kill himself.He couldn't betray her again.

When Felicity came out from the bathroom she was wearing just a robe and had her glasses on now.Somehow she seemed like the old Felicity except the light was gone from her eyes.Yet he had realized that she was now the new him,the one who put up different masks for different people so they wouldn't see through her.She had pretended all these yrs to be okay and had successfully fooled everyone.Well he too had been fooled because he believed Walter,or maybe he just didn't want to acknowledge the truth back then.

In his internal thoughts he failed to see Felicity frozen on the spot and was afraid she saw him but it seems like she felt him more than she saw because all her masked had dropped and she looked..........vulnerable.

"Oliver" It was a faint whisper.She took his name like a silent prayer and he knew he couldn't do this to her again.

He came out of the shadows slowly just enough for her to make out his form from the faint light by the window.Her gasp made it know that she recognized him.She slowly moved forward and touched him as if confirming that he is true and not another hallucination.But when he tried to touch her she backed away as if she was burned.She went to the farthest corner and stood there watching him.

After a long silence he spoke,"I'm sorry"

Guess at that she burst .He knew she had to speak,let out all her rage and he was ready to endure it.She was surely using her loud voice as she charged at him backing him to the wall as she yelled.

"DON'T YOU SORRY ME OLIVER QUEEN.I got that you were upset,angry and sad.Dig didn't deserve it but I didn't either.I gave you space hoping that one day you will wake up and you will realize that in all of this I was left alone too that I needed comfort too.I hoped you would come to me and hold me telling it will be okay and support me.Dig was your best buddy but he was like a big brother to me too.But no you were selfish and you didn't realize that I was all alone too.I endured all your brooding and self-loathing because I was sure that one day you will be okay.I was there for you when you needed someone and what did you do?You came to my home one night,had comfort sex with me thinking that I should deserve a piece of your huge anatomy since I worked so hard for you and then left me.Not even a goodbye,a promise nothing.I didn't know if you were ever coming back or if you were alive.I spent months searching for you crying myself every night to sleep and now you have the balls to come and say SORRY!!!! act like not a big deal.But you know what I don't need you anymore because you never were there when I did"

Unknown to Felicity she was hitting his chest quite hard.He took hold of her hands but wow she could put up a really good fight now.Still he hadn't forgotten his skills.In few seconds,he had her pinned to the wall and as she was opening his mouth to shout again he closed it with his lips.He was kissing her with so much passion that she was beginning to lose it but memories of hurt and betrayal came back.She tried pushing him but he wouldn't budge.It was as if he was begging forgiveness with his kiss.She gave in and kissed him hard,abusing his lower lip biting it hard enough to draw blood but he didn't stand down.He kissed her with the same fervor.

As they parted,Oliver pushed his forehead against Felicity as his hands cupped her cheeks.His breath was fanning her face as he spoke,

"I am truly sorry.I was an idiot to leave you but I was broken.I know I was selfish but that night was true.All my feelings were true.I didn't sleep with you for the reasons you think but because I wanted you.That night I had come to say goodbye but things happened and I couldn't say it.I needed to be fixed to be to deserve to to give you the life you deserved.When I came back I came here to find you because "YOU ARE MY HOME".I had been keeping tabs on you through Walter but he doesn't know about your night activities so it was a shock but I am so proud of you.Proud that you kept the city from falling apart even though you were fallen.I saw a picture of you and Laurel so when I didn't find you I went to her.She told me everything that happened in the city and everything about you.Felicity if you still reject me I will not push you but this time I will stay and I will pursue you until you are ready to be with me.Besides you will always have to be with me"

His speech was overwhelming and the fact that this time he wouldn't leave was a relief but when he said she will always have to be with him she was angered.

"Excuse me,if you don't know then you are not the Arrow anymore nor my boss so you don't have to be with me anymore than I have to"

Oliver chuckled and replied"Yes but since I am back Walter is ready to give me back my company so technically I am your boss and since I am back,I will be the Arrow because I think you have had enough scars.All of this I had started and you didn't deserve those scars so I will take what my responsibility."

His voice had gotten low and husky nearly taking the Green Arrow voice.Any protest she was about to put died in her mouth as he again kissed her.He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him,a feeling of deja vu coming on.He placed her on the bed and this time it was his turn to trace and kiss each of her scars,memorizing all of it as she had done all those nights ago.

But this time he didn't leave,this time he was there when she woke up giving her small kissed.This time he was here to stay.

Oliver Queen being back,QC was handed over to him and he turned out quite a good CEO.Felicity was appointed as his executive assistant but she still had the last say in every IT related decisions and she also gave out her own projects.After a year and a half he proposed to her and six months later they were married.At their wedding they put up a huge portrait of Diggle and their vows were exchanged before the man's photo.Laurel was the maid of honor and Walter had given her away .Diggle was honoured as the best man even though he wasn't there.Quentin Lance had blessed both of them with a warning to Oliver.

As for the Arrow business,they did it in turns.After all Felicity Queen was as stubborn as Oliver Queen.


End file.
